Monday, May 2, 2011

shit happens, right?

i know i'm not perfect, and i would never even think about saying i am. i know the world doesn't revolve around me, and there are problems bigger than mine. but i don't feel like it's okay for anyone to belittle me considering they have no idea who i am. i have been through a lot in my life, more than most 'average' teens have. but that's also why i am who i am. i'm a little bitchy, a pushover, aggressive, but passionate. one thing i am proud of about me, is that i can admit when i am wrong. i know my faults as well. and that's saying more than most people can say.
i've grown, as a person, in so many different ways. i wish things could have turned out differently. it hurts that i know people still talk behind my back about the person i use to be. someone i'm not anymore. it kills me that because i was so mad, i let a friendship go down the drain. they were so mad, they let a friendship go down the drain. a friendship that was one anyone could envy. we knew each other inside and out. could call each other bawling and the other would know exactly what to say to help, even if it wasn't anything but i love you. a friend that turned into family, that turned into an enemy. and it kills me that i know it was partly my fault. some days, i would take all the blame. but then i know all my secrets were told. things that never should have been repeated, were. it hurts.
i know that all my experiences will help me grow. i'll move on. i'll let go. i'm sure this was something that was suppose to happen, but it doesn't make it suck any less.

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