for some reason, i am missing doc more than ever right now. i watched 'coming home' and i love that show. civilians (it's weird saying that since i'm a civilian) should really watch it. it show raw emotions not only from the families, but from the military members as well. i finished four of my nine classes today which means i have completely finished seven of them. i should be so happy, and i am, i am so damn proud of myself...but i want doc. i want him to come home. i want to call him and scream on the phone and tell him that i did it, but i can't. fuck afghanistan. i know i'm suppose to be strong and i'm suppose to be able to handle all of this, but life has thrown me one too many curve balls now, and i'm tired of it. i just want doc home with me to make me feel better and nuggle with me.
now i'm sitting here crying, pouring all my problems out to his best friend and i just feel so bad. i want everything perfect when doc comes home, and i know it's going to be a terrible mess. his mom is gonna be mad about everything, and there's no way to avoid it. we shouldn't have to please her...she should just be happy we are spending any time at all with her considering the bullshit she's put on our relationship. i just want the best possible for doc because that's what he deserves. i know he's not perfect, but he tries so hard sometimes, he wants the best for me, and for us, so i want everything to be just perfect for him. although, perfect isn't in our track record. but that's okay.
hoping for a phone call, and meeting him in my dreams <3
No comments:
Post a Comment