irritated.

i'm not trying to push anyone's feelings aside. i know that many many people miss him, but their lives didn't stop because he left. their hearts don't hurt because he left. they don't cry theirselves to sleep at night because he's not there. it just really bothers me that everyone is like 'i'm here hurting too' 'i miss him so much'. instead of 'look at that family supporting you' i honestly believe it should be 'look at that WIFE supporting you'. or girlfriend, or fiancee. those are the ones who are sitting at home, clentching their phones, waiting for one phone call. even if they aren't at home, a woman whose man is deployed, you can beat your ass they have their phone on them 24/7, with the ringer on LOUDDDD.

deployment takes a toll on anyone who has a family member deployed. and i never forget that. but please don't tell me you miss him just as much, or more than me. I'M the one he calls when he gets the chance. I'M the one who he talks to when he can't barely deal with it anymore. and I'M the one he calls when he can't call his family because all they wanna do is fight on the phone with him over stupid shit he doesn't need to deal with. once again...me me me. it literally breaks my heart. why would you argue on the phone when you ONLY have 15 minutes, if that. we never fight when we're on the phone, i cherish that time on the phone while you cherish other stupid stuff.

this whole military relationship stuff has made me cherish the things in life that others don't. a kiss, a hug, holding hands, TALKING ON THE PHONE. i appreciate my friends more because they are few and far between. and the ones that stay with me through it all, THEY are my true friends.

i'm just irritated that his cousin said that crap, and then i just started rambling off about a bunch of other stuff too :/