just let the tears fall.

have you ever just cried? just because you can. and just let the tears fall down like there's no tomorrow. when i first start to cry, i feel so ashamed of myself. i feel like i've given into all the pressures of everyday life. and i feel like life has gotten the best of me. and then i take a step back and realize how truly strong i am. i am fighting a battle that not many people fight. yes, there are other military couples going through a deployment....but that's probably the only thing we have in common;; that is our only 'fight' in common. we all are fighting a different battle that know one knows anything about.

i'm so thankful to have true friends that keep me sane. i'll get a random text message through the day, just askin how i am. weather i tell them i'm good, or fine, or a complete disaster;; it doesn't feel like it matters to me. what matters is that they took the 10 seconds out of their day to send that to me. sometimes i just like to be stubborn and not tell someone how i'm really feeling. it goes back to that whole failure feeling. if i don't admit to anyone what's really going on, maybe it won't be true.

somedays, it feels unbearable. and when it does, i thank God that i made it through that day.

today....i'm thanking God that i made it through.