life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

i have never had so many people tell me they are proud of me than i have during this deployment, and it feels good. i'm nothing special, but to have some recognize that i've gone through hardships just as doc has is comforting. it's even more comforting to hear doc tell me how proud he is of me. i spend a lot of time thinking about him, and wanting the best for us, and making decisions that are going to be the best for us, and to have people recognize that...it's just awesome. the only person i ever needed to hear "i'm proud of you" from was doc...is doc. and i thank God every day that i found a man who is truly proud of who i am, and what i'm doing for him. we both know that without each other, we would be lost. he knows i'm doing good for him back home while he's out saving the world. i don't need all the attention in the world...i need his attention, and his approval, and i just need for him to be proud of me. and he is. and he trusts me. that's all i could ever ask from him.

we found out that one of his friend's wives wasn't faithful to him, and it breaks both of our hearts. doc sees how much pain this guy is in, but he acts like nothing is wrong. and it makes of us both pissed off at her...how could she do that? what happened to 'till death do us part'?? obviously it went out the window for her. we're SO close, and i don't think people realize that. i have FOURTEEN days left until i leave for hawaii, and she was right behind me. they will be back in less than a month...she couldn't even keep it in her pants for two more months....granted this happened a month-ish ago. i know i shouldn't judge, but i've met this girl, and she was so head-over-heels with her husband, and then she did this. i have no respect for her, and my heart goes out to him. karma's a bitch though, i know from experience....and she's said some pretty nasty things to me.

after doc told me all of this, i told him it made me nervous...i didn't want him to second guess me and our marriage. i love him more than anything. i could never, in a million year, think about cheating on him. god, it hurts just to even think about it. being the amazing man that he is...he told me he trusted me, and he loved me, and he was so proud of me. and he told me to never say something like that again. and i'm so glad i said that to him because i know i would have had a pit in my stomach the rest of the day. i guess i've learned from this deployment...i've learned that if i have something to say to him, i need to say it because it could be two weeks before i talk to him again. i definitely cherish our thirty minute talks that we get. and i'm so thankful we even get that much time.